FEATURE STORIES

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HOW TO TREAT THE OLD MAN

by John Jonelis – A huge part of the value of this excursion is the solitude of the north woods. Solitude has no price tag, so shoot the works! Surprise the old man! RENT THE WHOLE LODGE! Sure, the facility holds 25 guests. So what? It’s only money!

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HAWKS

by Mark T Wayne – “Quit talking business!  This is important!”  A shocking pronouncement coming from one’s employer!  I go mum.  Jonelis and Lonagan both jump to their feet and beer sloshes onto my fine white flannel suit. “Goal!” they scream in rough unison, and the stadium erupts in opposing voices of victory and outrage.

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KIDNAPPED

by Mark T Wayne – Weeks have passed since my last conscious memory. Weeks, I say! A man can lose his hat and perhaps even his pants, but to lose several weeks is inexcusable. Think what mischief might transpire over such a span of time!

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Twenty Questions You Will Be Asked By Venture Capitalists

by Laurence Hayward – Most likely you’ve played the game 20 questions. This game shares some common traits with a venture capital interview. So, in order to help you prepare, outlined below are 20 questions that venture capitalists most frequently ask entrepreneurs.

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YOUR BUSINESS AND YOUR CHILDREN

by Nick Arvis – “Why am I doing this?”   That’s the question dominating a President’s Advisory Committee board meeting (PAC).  None of the members—all business owners—intend to give or sell their business to their children.  Instead, in a reversal of traditional social norms, all of them plan to use their wealth to empower their children on whatever paths the kids happen to choose.

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OIL FROM WATER

by John Jonelis – What if you can make oil out of water? What if, you also end up with more water? That discovery will benefit our country and the world.  The technology now exists. Commercialization is beginning.

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THE HIDDEN DANGER IN YOUR DATA

by Howard Tullman – You need to be exceedingly careful these days that you don’t let the ease of access and the ubiquity of massive amounts of quantitative performance data cause you to over-emphasize the math and measurements—and thereby lose sight of the far more important qualitative attributes of what’s going on.

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SABBATICAL

by Mark T Wayne – Jonelis ain’t here. He announced a sabbatical and disappeared. That is correct, sir! I am in charge! That is my hat on the hook. Those are my boots resting on the WWII Air Force desk. I will take this opportunity to exercise my power as I see fit. Any fool that criticizes my splendid white suit or magnificent mustache may face instant dismissal!

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UNDERESTIMATING THE COMPETITION

by Robert Jonelis – Ever face a crisis situation? Raw panic? Of course you have. We’ve all been burned by miscalculation, greed, and shoddy research. People have been making the same mistakes for quite a long time and a young woman from the 10th Century can teach us a pointed lesson about the importance of accurately sizing up the competition.

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A LOOP LONAGAN CHRISTMAS

by John Jonelis –This is outrageous. I’m concentrating on my computer screen when a huge mitt grabs me by the back of the belt and plucks me from my chair. Next thing I’m dangled high over the desk, arms and legs flailing…

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YOUR WORK IS NOT YOUR LIFE

by Howard Tullman –You can’t be all things to all people; you can’t dance every dance; and, throughout your life, you’ve got to make hard choices, sacrifices, and compromises, and then you’ve got to live with them through thick and thin for a very long time.

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INJURIES TREATED BADLY

by John Jonelis – Kids are dropping dead on the athletic field. Dead! These are our kids—those highly cherished and precocious little brats, grades K-12. Just a few years back we suffered a miserable year—120 deaths. Here’s a huge problem waiting to get fixed.  Tonight I get to see Tyrre Burks, founder of TEAM INTERVAL tell us what he proposes to do about it.

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THE GIRL WITH THE BLACK LEATHER PANTS

by John Jonelis – This is a winner. You wanna wow the judges? Win the crowd? Get your game face on, kiddo! Hit ’em with real passion, overflowing personality and a canon shot of enthusiasm.

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ROUGHING IT

by Mark T Wayne – “Don’t you want to feel safe?” asks Rosalind Russell.  In response, Clark Gable knits his brows. “I never have. What’s it like?”  Vigorous travel is a grueling sport! One anticipates deprivation and hardship on any trip of significance. One seeks adventure! Exhilaration! One does not select air transportation to wrap oneself in a safe cocoon. No sir! Air travel exists for one and only one purpose. SPEED!

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CLOSER TO HEAVEN

by Mark T Wayne – My instinct for survival goes into full panic mode. With wisdom born of a long life, I fumble with my seatbelt. I wish to disembark this flying coffin—IMMEDIATELY! My hands shake and over my loud objections, before I can set myself free, the props are spinning!

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FISH STORY

by Mark T Wayne – Fishermen are liars! After a superb day of fishing in the Canadian Wilderness, I prepare to utter my first exaggeration when Jonelis comes in with this monstrous THING. Look at it sir! This stretches all limits of credulity!

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LIES ABOUT PARADISE

by Mark T Wayne – I recognize a sharp character flaw among outdoorsmen of all sorts—an uncontrollable urge to exaggerate—particularly after an excursion to a wilderness such as northern Manitoba. Permit me to treat you to a few horror stories of the Great North Woods. I promise to debunk them all.

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WHIZ KIDS

by John Jonelis – You don’t want to compete with this kid. Believe me. Just watch his intensity as he pitches his business to some of the private equity luminaries in the city. I’m a judge at this event and try not to show my feelings of awe as he answers all the tough questions in a pressure-cooker environment without so much as a flinch. There’s an intimidating team behind him too. They’re all in middle school. Middle school!

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THE ANGEL EDGE

by John Jonelis – Compare seed round, the angel round, and the venture round to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Notice that Angels make up the good stuff in the middle. And yes—according to studies by the Kauffman Foundation—Angels make the best money.

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